My harmonium!

It was 8 in the morning. Ammu woke me up. 'Himi, your April 22 show is less than a month away. Gola shadha to cherei diyecho. [translation - you've stopped vocal training completely!] How are you going to sing if you don't practice?'

For a moment I wasn't sure how old I was and where I was. Cause Ammu waking me up from sleep and forcing me to sit with my harmonium and 'gola shadha' was my every morning in Dhaka till I left in June 2000. Then reality hit me and I got up scratching my eyes.

It is 2006 and I have recently become an Amra Kojon family member. And my life has completely changed since then. It now has a meaning and a goal to accomplish. Through Amra Kojon I found true friends to share my passion with. What else could I ask for? What else can anyone ask for? But now I need to be worthy of my family. The show has to be perfect and I need to practice.

So I jumped up from bed, quickly brushed my teeth and opened my harmonium. But there's no sound !!!! How can that possibly happen??I was just singing a week ago and it was perfect. My brain froze for a moment and I could feel warm water flow down my cheeks. Ammu too became paranoid. Her first reaction 'practica na korle to harmonium noshto hobei'. I could barely speak. My frozen brain was trying to work up some logic as to what to do now. I need to make a phone call and talk to Taposhda. But for that I need to be able to talk. So I took some deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. My lungs were revolting with all their might. But I need to talk to him. Now.

So, I reached out for the phone on the bedside table and dialed Taposhda's number.

"Himishona..kire. Ki khobor'

'Taposhda, my harmonium' .... (I tried to speak. I believe I said something. I don't think he understood)

'What happened to your harmonium'

(Then I tried to speak some more and he tried to understand some more)

'Himishona, calm down. Tell me what happened. What happened to your harmonium?'

'My harmonium is not working' (that's all I could gather myself to say. I was afraid if I tried to explain the details I would break down again)

"I will take care of it. Bring it with you on Friday. And I promise - it's my responsibility. Now don't cry anymore."

'hu'

"bring it with you on Friday, ok?'

'hu'

'and don't cry. I promise it will be fixed'

'Ok. khoda hafez'

And I knew right then that it will be fixed and I stopped sobbing. I don't know what really happened to my harmonium. Neither does Taposhda (yet). But I know everything will be ok.

I know this sounds crazy. But I also know that the feeling is right. I don't know how to explain it. And I am not sure if there are words to explain how I feel. But this is how I have been feeling since I have been in AK. And one needs to be in AK to be able to feel this way. There is just no other way.

- Nuzhat Karim Himi
on behalf of Amra Kojon